Monday, June 10, 2013

What I Learned While Camping In My Front Yard

Happy Monday!!

Just kidding.  I'm not a fan of Monday.  Though I do hope you have a good one.  But I did have a great weekend, so let's talk about that, wanna?

What did you do this weekend?  We did all manner of things.  First I have a quiz for you.

What do you get when you combine a water balloon filler:

Water balloons:

A Noodle and a Nugget:

(What can I say?  The kid just likes to wear a life jacket)

And a trampoline:


You get hours of entertainment, that is what you get!  And it looks like this:

Throw in a crazy dog and a kiddie pool, and you get complete chaos.

At least that's what you get at my house.  Chaos.  On pretty much any day, actually.

Don't let the puppy dog eyes fool you.  It's chaos.

So, we camped out in our front yard on Saturday night.  Yup, I did say FRONT yard.  Now, just so that you don't get the idea that we are weirdos that are bent on attracting trouble by basically sleeping in public rather than the obscurity of our BACKyard, let me remind you about where I live:

See all that nothing behind Noodle and Nugget?  Just picture it all around us.  ALL around us.

Right.  And let me just tell you about the fact that while we managed to throw in some landscaping in the front yard so that we don't look entirely like we just plopped a house out in the middle of a sage field, the backyard is still a dirt pit, that has no business housing either tents or people.

So, naturally, we camped in the front yard.  And so, for slightly less than 12 hours, this was our home:

In front of our real home, see that?  Which is kind of ideal, as we got the benefits of nature while having indoor plumbing and a truly fabulous coffee maker mere steps from the entrance of our tent.

Noodle and Nugget were so excited about this turn of events that they immediately went inside to gather "supplies".  Here are some things that my kids consider essential when camping in the front yard.  First off, books:

 Then there are the fuzzy slippers:

 And the stuffed animals:

 And camp chairs, naturally:

 And, my personal favorites, the pop gun...

...and wooden sword... protect us from zombies coyotes.  And anything else that might come snooping.  Good thinking, kiddos!

And I learned a few things while camping in my front yard, which include but are not limited to:

1.  Small Nuggets and fully grown husbands would do well to bring both hoodies and beanies into the tent at bedtime to prevent getting up for them in the wee hours of the morning to keep their shaved heads and naked necks from freezing in our mountain air.

2.  A double wide sleeping bag, while roomy and kind of cute, is not the warmest place to sleep if you want to roll over at any point in the night.

3.  When your cold Nugget climbs into your double wide sleeping bag with you and your husband, just accept the fact that you won't be turning over for the rest of the night, because every time you do you will let the cold air into the bag, waking up Nugget and launching him on a 5 minute tirade about how FREEZING he is.  It will involve crying.  Possibly for you both.

4.  Twister will bark at pretty much anything.  He'll bark at the wind, at the sound of you trying to roll over without waking up Nugget (which will wake up Nugget), at the sound of any person in the tent snoring or breathing audibly, at crickets chirping, at the cat meowing from the house window closest to the tent, he'll even bark at the sound his tail makes when he wags it in his sleep.  He won't, apparently, bark at actual animals in the area.  He will, though, bark at your neighbor 100 yards away the second he walks out his back door in the morning.

5.  No matter how pathetic the cat sounds, don't try to bring him in the tent with the rest of you.  He will be completely freaked out over the fact that he can see the outdoors but not actually walk into it, and will pace the tent, going from sheer panel to sheer panel trying to figure out how to get into the outside.  This will culminate with him making a flying leap at the topmost sheer panel thinking it's a way out, sinking his front claws into the sheerness of the panel, and hanging there, dangling over a sleeping Noodle, completely confused as what to do next.  Which means you will leave the warmth of your sleeping bag to rescue the cat (and by extension, Noodle) and pass him off to husband to take back into the house, because everyone and their brother knows that cats have no business camping, front yard or elsewhere.

Just for the record, you won't hear a peep from your cat after this experience.  He now knows you are nuts sleeping out there and thinks you deserve what you get.

6.  Backs will hurt about halfway through the night.  You will actually be crippled by morning.

Yup, that pretty much sums it up.  Camping out front was a blast.  And completely hilarious, once morning brought a bit of perspective.

The cat has started speaking to us again, in case you were wondering.

What did you do this weekend?

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